To: Dawson
Date: 2008 Feb 01, 8:41 am
Subject: Here
Lately, you’ve been acting like a complete asshole toward me. You don’t seem to give a fuck about what I say, you don’t really seem like you want to talk to me, you just act like I’m a nuisance to you. Now, I might be mistaken, but I don’t think that I’ve done anything to deserve this treatment from you. And to be honest, it really pisses me off because last time a checked, when a person loved another person he didn’t treat the other as dispensable. If you have a problem with me, or if there is something else going on that is making you act this way with me, I would really appreciate it if you related that information to me so that I’m not wallowing in my own ignorance.
From: Dawson
Date: 2008 Feb 01, 8:46 am
Subject: Re: Here
I don’t think I’ve acted like an asshole at any point but that’s just me. I just haven’t felt like talking to anyone lately, it’s not only you. I feel like absolute crap and I honestly haven’t been up to speaking to anyone. I prefer retreating to my mind than forcing my apathetic disposition on anyone; I find things are better that way. It has nothing to do with you, so please don’t make it out to be that way. I’m sorry I missed your phone call (I believe that was you, I could be wrong of course), I was at the gym. I tried calling you back but it rang through to your voice mail last night and I was too tired to try a third time.
To: Dawson
Date: 2008 Feb 01, 8:53 am
Subject: Re: Here
The fact that you’ve acted so distant without telling me what’s going on, that’s what upset me, baby. And honestly? I wish that you would tell me what’s going on instead of running away into your head. I really do. I think that if you just talked to me and let me at least try to be there for you that you might find it helpful. Just give me a chance, okay? As stubborn as you are, that probably would be tough. But relationships are about trying, after all. And yeah, I did call last night. I told Faye to tell you to call Oli’s phone since I was with her last night, but I guess that she didn’t. It makes me feel better that you did call, though. So thank you.
I know that you’re used to retreating into yourself, but it kills me to see you this way. And feeling like I can’t do anything (more because you won’t let me than my own lack of capability) just… sucks. Immensely.
From: Dawson
Date: 2008 Feb 01, 9:03 am
Subject: Re: Here
It’s just what I do when I’m angry or upset, Ty. -shrugs- An old habit, I suppose you could say. I don’t like talking things out, I’m more about action than words really. I know you’re there and that’s enough for me, okay? I’m used to dealing with things on my own and I prefer to do it that way. That’s not to say I don’t love you or anything of the sort, it’s what I’m accustomed to. Well, I wasn’t on HEX much last night to begin with, just popped in for a few seconds to check owls and then I was off, so I didn’t see Faye at all.
For the most part, I generally return phone calls.
Don’t think anything of it, really. I just prefer my space during these times. My dad can tell you that much. I have to leave for work at 9.30am, so I’ll be on till then. AIM still isn’t working properly yet but whatever.
To: Dawson
Date: 2008 Feb 01, 9:17 am
Subject: Re: Here
I guess I just hate the feeling of not being able to do anything for you. I want to make you happy, somehow, but I guess that’s not an option, jah?
I’m not used to being useless. :/
So… do I just have to wait for you to want to deal with people again? I’d wait for you forever, you know, but please. Don’t make me wait that long to hold you again.
From: Dawson
Date: 2008 Feb 01, 9:24 am
Subject: Re: Here
I have to leave in a few minutes.
I can only make myself happy, you know that. The choice of wanting to accept it or not is yours. At the moment, I’m just pissed off and frustrated. I’m not sad in any sense of the word. I’ll get over it. I always do.
You’re not useless. So cut the nonsense.
Just give me a week or two, I should be fine afterwards. Gives me time to drop weight and that usually makes me feel better about myself. I would never make you wait forever and if I did, feel free to leave me but I’m not that much of a jackass. Not really anyway.
To: Dawson
Date: 2008 Feb 01, 9:25 am
Subject: Re: Here
I know. But one must remember that I’m just as stubborn as you are. So getting used to it will take some time, if you’re willing to wait.
Shut up. I’ll never leave you.
From: Dawson
Date: 2008 Feb 01, 9:29 am
Subject: Re: Here
We’ll see. I have to head off to work now.
Goodbye.
I do love you, you know.
Dawson
To: Dawson
Date: 2008 Feb 01, 9:31 am
Subject: Re: Here
Oh ye of little faith. You’d be surprised at just how true to my word I am when I say that.
Dawson. I will never leave you. We are our word, correct? Knowing you, I certainly wouldn’t say that if I didn’t mean it.
Try to have a decent day at work.
I love you, too.
Ty.
—————————————————
This boy drives me crazy. But fuck, do I love him. The jerk.
