Some random thoughts before bed.

It’s not really cold outside, but I closed my window anyway to keep wind from rattling my blinds. On TV there’s a commercial for one of those lovely Girls Gone Wild videos. Yeah. That’s going to change in a split second.

Oh look, Girls Gone Wild has magically turned into America’s Best Dance Crew. A show that I pretty much have no interest in now considering that the idiots of America voted off all of the best crews and all that’s left are a bunch of mediocre loserfaces. Sometimes I really hate America and its stupidity. Seriously. How was A.S.I.I.D. not the best dance crew, oh, ever? Hmph. Anyway, I’m so done.

Now America’s Best Dance Crew has turned into It’s Me or the Dog on Animal Planet. There’s something about the sassy, British, all black wearing Victoria Stilwell that just makes me smile. If I were aiming to be a dog trainer, she would surely be my hero. Sadly, this is not the case, and I shall only continue to admire her no-nonsense attitude and her penchant for tight buns and ponytails and cherry red lipstick without the intention of following in her footsteps.

I have been playing an extreme amount of Guitar Hero III lately. I’m no master by any means; I’m still stuck on medium. I probably will be for the next few months. If I’m lucky. I would love to go against the majority and say that Guitar Hero is completely overrated. Unfortunately, I can say no such thing as I spent hours today trying to perfect my virtual shredding skills. I think the only reason a person would hate that game is because (s)he isn’t very good at it. Sore losers.

Due to my new job, I think that I know more about chocolate than 99.9% of the American population. Do you know how to temper chocolate? Do you even know what tempering means? Do you know what “blooming” is and why it is completely unwanted in any chocolate store? Blooming is the result of shotty workmanship, it is. Do you know exactly why Godiva chocolate is superior to See’s candy in every possible way? With the exception of molasses chips, according to Dawson. Considering that I’ve never had any I cannot say for sure.

Trust me, there is a reason why Godiva chocolate is $44 per pound. Then again, I could have just been brainwashed by big scary Belgium chocolate giants.

Hey, don’t laugh. I’ve been to Brussels. They are scary. Well, just the women, actually. And they really do love their waffles. I thought that was just some silly rumor-stereotype that Americans made up just because we like doing those types of things but, no. Belgians love waffles. They have waffle stands on the streets. Well, at least in Brussels they do. Which, honestly? Not much of a problem. Their waffles are delicious.

What was I talking about? Oh right, the company for which I currently am employed. Such a pushy company, really. Bordering on the edge of obnoxious every now and then. However, I guess when the only thing that you sell is chocolate then you have to be a little forceful, no matter how annoying you seem.

Which reminds me, I have to work in the morning. One of my co-workers is teaching me how to open the store. Eventually I’ll get a key to the store all for myself. What a glorious day it will be when I am given a key to a place filled from floor to ceiling with chocolate.

Dear fuck, what in the hell is my manager thinking?

A little reunion special.

Okay. So, as everyone can tell, I took a little… impromptu break from my blog. It wasn’t necessarily because I just didn’t want to write anymore, it was simply because I was just so freaking busy. I’m sure the world noticed. The readers of my blog (who may have completely disappeared at this point so I’ll have to build up a new audience), my online friends and even my real life friends. I simply haven’t been around. I spend the majority of my time now either with my boyfriend (yes, Dawson and I are still together and just as happy as ever) or at work. Sure, making $8 an hour isn’t necessarily anything glamorous, but it isn’t a bad thing, either. It is amazing refreshing to actually look at my bank account and see more than a few dollars idly sitting by in there.

Very refreshing.

The reason why I’m coming back after so long is because 1) I’ve missed writing, 2) I have a little bit of time since my boyfriend is currently vacationing in Jamaica with his family and 3) I’m sure that deep down inside I have something important that needs to be said. Whether or not that will come out as my fingers tap along this keyboard, who knows.

So, I admit. I kind of left everyone off with a cliffhanger with my last post. You know, about the whole transgender porn thing. Dawson and I talked about it quite a bit, and I slowly came around to it. I’m not sure if I’m still a little iffy about the whole thing. Probably not, knowing me. But if he brings up the subject again in the future I’m sure that I’ll know how to handle it all much better than I did a few months ago.

I’m a little bit worried about my body. I have a huge spider bite on the back of my left thigh that has yet to completely go away and I have rashes forming on the insides of both thighs. I thought that I just might have been allergic to something but now I’m not so sure. If either of them do not go away in a few days I think I might have to go see a doctor.

I’m hoping that I can return to my blog after my boyfriend comes home from his vacation. I have a horrible habit of dropping projects like this and I do not want to do it again. If anything, I’d probably be writing while he slept. I usually don’t go asleep until an hour or two after he does anyway. I’m going to make an effort to continue writing, even if I have nothing relatively interesting to say. I think clearing out my head, even of mundane thoughts, is healthy. And fuck knows I don’t have many healthy habits nowadays. Although, I’m slowly getting better.

It’s amazing how one person can completely influence you into becoming a better person. I may never be perfect, but I think that with a little work I can become better. Whatever “better” may mean.

I’ve been having a lot of issues with my parents ever since I started dating Dawson. Not because of him, but because of the way that I apparently act when I’m with him. I think that they believe that since I’m in love I’ve blinded myself to everything in my life but him, which I cannot say that I entirely agree with. My parents and I have never been amazingly close; they’ve always been far more close with one another, which I suppose is both a good and a bad thing. But they seem to have become more sensitive to this semi-closeness since I’ve been with Dawson. I cannot say for sure. I never know what’s going on in those heads of theirs.

I feel so tired lately. And lonely. But that is simply because Dawson is thousands of miles away. I realized a long time ago that I never needed to have a lot of friends. Just one or two incredibly close people. As long as I have them, I’m happy. But without them I feel quite incomplete.

With the oncoming of my supercrazyfun whirlwind romance I feel like I’ve neglected Oli. I never meant to; she’s used to me kind of staying away for weeks at a time. However, I don’t talk to her as much as I used to and for that I feel incredibly guilty. She doesn’t seem to hold a grudge against me for it all, it’s really not her style. But the last thing that I want is for us to slowly drift apart because of the new people in our lives. Hopefully she feels the same way.

Wherever everyone is, I hope they all know just how much I love them.