The TV is my night light.

Time for another list, yay! This time it is the Top 11 Television Shows (who says everything needs to be ten?). Because I’m uncreative like that. Whatever. Once I run out of all of the typical stuff then I’ll come up with more interesting things. But until then…

11. AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL While I haven’t really been paying attention to the last two or three seasons, I will admit that I watched the first few like religiously. While I am not suckered into every single reality show out there, I am an avid fan of a few of them (no matter how ridiculous) and ANTM is just one of them. I love Tyra Banks, even if she is a little bit crazy, and there’s just something about seeing a bunch of beautiful (sometimes) women make awkward angles with their bodies and get pretty pictures taken of them that makes me happy. I find that I don’t really care so much about the challenges, I only really enjoy the photoshoots and seeing the ending results. I love looking at the pictures and I love seeing the creative ideas  they come up with for shoots (season 8’s drag shoot? Come on, brilliant!).

10. DRAGON BALL Z So, when I was an ignorant twelve year old boy I thought that DBZ was a godsend. Now that I am a very mature twenty year old young gentleman, I think that DBZ is, well, a godsend. I have not watched it in years but I have a feeling that if Adult Swim suddenly decided that they wanted to air episodes of Dragon Ball Z like they did all those years ago I would probably squeal like a little fanboy and watch them with rapt attention just like I did in fifth grade. It doesn’t matter that in each episode preceding every epic battle all the characters did was stare at one another intently. Like, super intently. I was totally all for the main character, Goku, and totally drooled all over his bulging cartoon muscles… Eh, anyway. I’ve never been into anything but the cartoon show. No manga, no crappy live-action movies, no dressing up like any of the characters because I’m not a fucking nerd. I just, you know. Really liked it. Shut up.

9. AMERICA’S BEST DANCE CREW Promise, this is totally the last… reality-competition show thing. Whatever category this is, I love this show, despite the fact that most of the crews can’t pick cool names (see previous post). Pictured to the left is Vogue Evolution, a crew from this season (4). They are my favorite crew thus far, and the fact that the leadwoman, Leiomy Maldonado, is transgendered is awesome. I love her. Kind of like ANTM, I just love seeing the finished results of the crews’ work and do not really care about anything else. I wish that I could dance like these people, it would be a dream. But alas, I am highly uncoordinated and have trouble not walking into things, let alone dancing. I suppose it shall just remain a dream.

8. HOME MOVIES This is one of the most amusing cartoons I have ever seen, and unfortunately the only time it comes on (that I am aware of) is about 1h30 and 5h30 in the morning on [adult swim]. It is about Brendon Small, an eight year old boy who makes movies with his two best friends Jason and Melissa. There is really no main plot or story, just kind of a random mix of improvised script that makes me smile. Let me just say that I only wish that there were actually eight year olds as cool as Brendon Small in existence. But alas, no such child exists. Plus the movies that the kids make are highly amusing, and probably not all that appropriate for children. It’s awesome.

7. MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE Just so you know, the rest of the shows on this list with the exception of one were made only for the purpose of making me crack the fuck up. I’m a sucker for comedy, and Malcolm in the Middle makes me laugh. Immensely. That’s just the way that it is. I also really enjoy the show because there are very few girls in it. Because when you get a lot of females on one show, horrible fucking things happen. I enjoy all of the characters and their amusing antics. Plus, I used to know a family who literally had five boys and no girls. I don’t think that they were as destructive as Malcolm and his brothers, but you know. Just holds a special place in my heart.

6. iCARLY Technically, I may be slightly too old for this show (I don’t know, whatever). But that will not stop me from enjoying the megasuperamazingness that is iCarly. A lot of the tween shows on Nickelodeon suck ass and are written for incredibly stupid kids, but iCarly has a level of intelligence to it that is probably lost on a lot of people. Written by the same people who did Drake & Josh (another favorite of mine), I cannot help but love everyone on this show. Some of the jokes are so subtle and adorable that I just want to kick something. Which probably wasn’t what the writers were intending, but whatever. I love it the little mentions that they give to Drake & Josh (for example, Sam has a picture of Drake taped to the inside of her locker), and I love it when they go to the Cheesecake Warehouse and have food so ridiculously oversized that you can’t help but scream, “OH FUCK. I’ve been to the Cheesecake Factory! Their portions are HUGE! HAHAHA!” Or something like that.

5. SCRUBS I didn’t even start watching this show until Comedy Central picked it up, and for a long while I watched each episode religiously until I knew every single character on the show inside and out. I have to say that I’m incredibly fond of Dr Cox and Jordan, but then I tend to be attracted to the most obnoxiously rude yet super intelligent characters with a secret heart made of gold buried deep beneath their intense hatred for everything and everyone. They just call to me. I enjoy JD’s randomness and Elliot with her inherent quirkiness (and yes, Elliot is a girl). I have found a number of people who just don’t get the show and don’t find it amusing. Well, those people are silly, because Scrubs is awesome and I only wish that I had more time to watch it. I catch it every now and then on Comedy Central but I don’t know what’s going on anymore, or why Courteney Cox is on the show. Hm.

4. SOUTH PARK Some people would call this show highly offensive and horrible and blah blah blah whatever whine whine bitch. Being the person that I am, however, I find South Park to be absolutely hilarious. One of the few shows on television that can keep up with the recent times and comment on them so quickly, I am always amused to find out what the creators of South Park are thinking about the world. I love how they make fun of everyone, not just people they don’t like. There is no mercy when it comes to this show, and honestly? We need a show like that. Ten years after the first episode and I’m still laughing my ass off. Plus? Cartman is kind of my anti-hero. I totally don’t admire him, but what would the show be without him?

3. ROBOT CHICKEN Let me just start off by saying that Seth Green is a fucking genius. Now that we all understand that, let me continue on by saying that Robot Chicken Star Wars: Episode 1 is one of the funniest fucking things on the planet. No, I’m dead serious. I dare you to watch this shit and tell me that it’s not ridiculously hilarious. This show makes me bust out laughing and I constantly wonder how they even come up with this stuff. GENIUSES, THE LOT OF THEM. I so wish that they could be my friends. I also wish that the show was longer than fifteen minutes, but I suppose that you can pack only so much awesome into a show before televisions all over America simultaneously combust.

2. FAMILY GUY I think that by law I am required to say that Seth MacFarlane, like Seth Green, is also incredibly brilliant. Which makes me want to name my future babies Seth in the hopes that the will turn out to be comedic powerhouses in their life. We’ll see what happens. Family Guy is one of those shows where you either get it or you don’t. Some people really don’t like the way that Family Guy’s humor is set up, but they can suck my balls because I adore it. Stewie Griffin is by far my favorite character on the show and I really enjoy how his peronsality has shifted in the later seasons to showcase his flamboyant personality rather than his futile dreams of taking over the world. Plus his gay crush on the dog is amusing. But shhhh, it’s a secret.

1. QUEER AS FOLK I love this show so much that it hurts to breathe just thinking about it. But in a good way, so do not worry. Though I have never seen the British series off of which the American version is based off of, I don’t really have a desire to see it because the British people aren’t as hot. Sorry, Brits. Doesn’t matter anyway, because the American version is orgasmic on its own. There are no words to describe just how much I love this show, or how much I wish I was Brian Kinney, or how everyone on the show makes me happy (except for Melanie in the first season who was a raging bitch and Ethan in the third season who destroyed the greatest couple ever, but only for a moment). Eventually everything works out and everyone’s happy. Or, at least, I’m happy. It sucks that the show was ended after only five seasons, but it was a good run to say the least. Plus, there are boys fucking in like every episode. And they’re all ridiculously sexy. How could I stay away?

Well, that is my third list, darlings. I’m waiting for Faye to finish her own list, but she is currently being a lazy butt and not doing anything. Whatever. I suppose that I can wait. The sucky part is that I still have about fifty minutes before my next class starts and now I have nothing to do. Damn.

My crew: Sup3r Moovyn D4ncie Kr3w

Just when I thought that I did not have anything else to write about, can someone please answer me one very important, life-changing question?

Why the fuck is it that dances crews from MTV’s America’s Best Dance Crew never have like, even remotely original names?

Let us break this down.

Total number of dance crews through all four seasons, not including those who did not make it past auditions: 37

Total number/percentage of crews with the word “crew” in their name: 4/11%

Total number/percentage of crews who use numbers to replace letters/words in their names: 5/13.5%

Total number/percentage of crews with intentionally misspelled names (for no apparent reason): 7 /19%

I know that those numbers do not seem very high, but I mean. Really? Do we really need a crew every season that needs to make it apparent that they’re a crew? Or that need to replace letters with numbers just because they can (yeah, I’m talking about you Fr3sh)? It gets a tad uninspiring after a while.

I guess they saved all their creativity for their dances instead of directing it towards their names. Which is understandable. Although still slightly lame.

Sometimes I cannot feel my face.

First day of school for the new semester. There are so many freshmen crawling around like insects. It is kind of creepy. I do not think that I have ever seen my school so crowded and I’m pretty sure that it’s not a good thing. Ah, well. They’ll all drop their classes eventually and only the intelligent ones will be left standing.

I have half-started making a new Top Whatever list but I haven’t gotten around to finishing it yet (obviously). Perhaps tonight while I am being unproductive I’ll get on that.

I’ve decided that the song for the day is “Freak on a Leash” by Korn. Pretty much the only song of theirs that I actually enjoy. I’ve been listening to it quite a bit the last few days; it always manages to send me into some kind of superrocker fucking trance. If I were high, the experience would be religious.

This song is amazing. And it’s really fucking fun to play on Guitar Hero: World Tour. I’m pretty sure the game was created just for that song.

Although I have only been to half of my classes so far, I cannot imagine this semester really being all that exciting. Maybe I’ll meet some cool people like I did last semester but no one can really be all that sure. Doesn’t hurt to be hopeful, though.

Currently sitting in the library, looking at all of the books stacked along the shelves that must have been put there in the ’70s and never removed. Albeit, a copy of any book is better than no copy at all.

I’m currently saving up my money in order to get one of those new Dell Minis, almost half way there. I’m hoping to convince my parents to loan me the other half so I can get the laptop faster and just pay them back. I was also thinking about getting a new cell phone, but the laptop seemed way more worth it. You know, so that I wouldn’t have to sit here in the school’s library using one of their computers…

The boy sitting in front of me is watching like… some kind of Asian magic show. She’s twirling around with a large red cloththing, which while not really all that magical, is amazingly enticing. Whoops, now she’s a man.

Never mind.

Class is still fifty-three minutes away but I have nothing else to write about, so I’ll probably suft around the Interwebs lazily or attempt to write a reply to my RP with Dawson.

Ah. School is fun.

Thanks to you, Chelsea.

Is it unusual to have a dream where all of the children in it possess Chelsea grins?

I’m pretty sure that “Chelsea grin” isn’t in the dream dictionary.

Does it just mean that my inner child is REALLY happy?

Hm. Somehow, I think not. The funny thing is, the creepily smiling children didn’t really freak me out all that much. I just looked at them like they were totally normal.

I tried looking for “Chelsea grin” in the Google Image Search and only found like one picture of Heath Ledger’s Joker, a bunch of pictures of some band apparently named Chelsea Grin and then one dorkface from Vampirefreaks.com.

So. I’ve officially decided that Google fails for not giving me what I wanted. But then again, Bing.com gave me pictures that I can’t even imagine being related to a Chelsea grin. So. Find your own picture. Or just look up the definition of Chelsea grin, which is pretty much what Ledger’s Joker has. That lovely never-ending smile.

The angry boy, a bit too insane…

So, if anyone could tell me why “Jumper” by Third Eye Blind is such a brilliant song, I would be greatly appreciative.

I think that I’ll listen to it as I go to bed tonight. I’m tired. Tomorrow is another day. Work, and then it is off to Dawson’s house. At least I have something to look forward to.

Heh, that made me smile.