Things are looking up from here.

There are a few things going on in my life that are mildly interesting (or super duper mega crazy interesting, depending on how you look at it). I had an interview for an assistant manager position at a smoothie place near my house last Thursday and I’m waiting for the manager to call me back. I’m seriously hoping that I get this job. I need to get away from my silly little chocolate store, I need to get a higher wage and I need a new environment. I want to have more responsibility and feel like I’m actually doing something useful. I want to get home from work and feel accomplished. I think having this higher position will really help me feel better about myself, not to mention give me a little extra money that I can save up, which is almost impossible on my current salary. Cross your fingers for me.

Tomorrow Dawson and I are going to speak to my human sexuality class about being transgender. My teacher, Jennifer, had us write a paper on our sexual values, just to get an idea of where all of us students were at and I mentioned the alternative gender thing in my paper when talking about a number of issues. At the end of my paper Jennifer had asked me if Dawson and I would like to speak for the class, for she thought that it would be much better for everyone to learn from first hand experience instead of just watching a movie about the topic.  I called Dawson the second that I got out of class and asked him if he wanted to do it and he agreed; I felt my heart flutter. I’m not sure why, but talking to the class was (and still is) extremely important to me. I love educating people and letting them ask questions so that they can get the correct answers instead of just hearing crappy ones from people who do not actually know what the fuck they’re talking about. I think that the talk will go extremely well; everyone in the class seems pretty open-minded and willing to learn. I’m nervous, but excited as well.

Speaking of Dawson, we’re officially back together again, under the condition that as long as I exercise and take care of myself we’ll be together. He gave me kind of an ultimatum last night and I agreed. It’s the motivation I need to actually begin taking care of myself, something that I should probably learn how to do as early as possible before I end up having two heart attacks like my biological father, or diabetes like my paternal grandmother. Dawson  makes me want to live forever.

I have never loved anyone as much as I love him.

And… I don’t want to die.